musings of a passenger

I am but a passenger of this life. The Good Lord is my driver.


Contrary to the popular belief that we are the driver of our lives, I consider myself as merely the passenger. This thought came to me just now, while the boyfriend is driving and I think about the things in my head. I am mentally listing my things to do and more serious stuff like what my goals are for tomorrow and for the next five years.


See, this is the kind of a passenger that I am. While enjoying the view on the road, I also get the time to contemplate.


I really am growing older. Gone were those years when I imagine the "things" I want in my life, while on travel. At this time in my life, I don't imagine the things but I decide on how to go about my days, and make them worthwhile. I do not imagine the phone I have always wanted, but I think about how thankful I am to have this phone at my hand and to type these thought as they come to me.


Back to the driver-passenger relationship, Papa G has driven me to the uphill and downhill slopes of life, but He has never left me throughout the journey. I've had several pit stops, but here I am, back on the road and looking ahead.


I've experienced driving, and I am terrible at it. I am a scared cat when I come face to face with big cars. But I kept trying to learn, I am an eager driver. But tonight, I realized how much better it is to be the passenger.


I won't give up on my passenger's seat, because I know, the driver will lead me to where I am supposed to go.



This passenger is thankful for the driver who is doing all that He can to bring me to my destination. Thank you Papa G.

of relationships, doubts, prayers and most of all love

We've known each other since 1st grade. We've known each other all our lives, his cousin is one of my bestfriends. And I was a constant invite in their family parties. Back in gradeschool, everyone had a crush on him, I had to stop myself from liking him because, i thought, it was unlikely of him to like me. In highschool, we attended batch parties and went out with our friends on several occasions, but never got to talking much. Tita Mila, his aunt always predicted someday we'd get together.

Fast forward to my second year in lawschool, our gradeschool batch had another reunion. One of our friends told me to talk to him to irritate a batchmate of ours who was flirting with him. And so, I did. After that night's party, we ended up talking on the phone until sun out and reminiscing gradeschool.

I'd get calls from him everyday since then. We knew we were starting to like each other but we had to agree on one thing, not one should fall in love with the other. Before going back to Manila for school, he visited me at home and told me he was starting to fall for me.

Having gone back to school, I continued to talk to him over the phone. I was falling for him too but the distance was an issue for me. When I was ready to stop everything, he told me he loved me already and he"s ready to take things to the serious level. Adventurous that I was, I said we can try.

Those years were hard. The distance was difficult to deal with. But almost 5years from there, we are still together. I get to see him more often than when we were both studying, but the distance still haunts me. His work often makes him leave the city for weeks.

We've had our share of almost break ups but the relationship withstood the test of time and distance. Months from now, we will be celebrating our 5th year as a couple, and we've always made it a point to celebrate every month that we surpass. Because the relationship is hard to keep, every month is a milestone for us.

Being in this relationship is no walk in the clouds. 

We had doubts on whether we can still keep going, but one night when I told him i need the time and space to be alone, he told me, "I keep praying for you, but most of all, I am praying for us. This maybe a difficult time for us, but please don't give up just yet. Because I am not giving up on my prayer for us to be together." 

Right now, i still have doubts whether I can still keep fighting for love. I do not have doubts on the fact that i love him. But the thoughts that I have sometimes make me want to explore the world alone. 

And while writing this, I am not sure of what I want for us. But I am holding on because rarely do I meet a man who prays for the relationship they have. And a man who prays to Padre Pio.

Let's see if we can still get pass the following months until we get to our 5th year and towards our forever. 

Love is patient, and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritating or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all  things, hopes all things, endures all things.     1 Cor 13:4-7

a beautiful prayer worth sharing

mom sent me this text one morning..

Lord,

enlighten what is dark in me;

mend what is broken in me;

bind what is bruised in me;

heal what is sick in me;

straighten what is crooked in me;

and revive whatever peace and love which has died in me.

i still have a photograph of you

“Taking pictures is savoring life intensely, every hundredth of a second.”― Marc Riboud

a new life ahead

the optimism of an endless horizon and the blue skies ahead.-michael kors


i love new beginnings. i never get tired of them.

the first of the year, the first of the month, the first of everything, they excite me.


i have gone through so much pain at the start of this year but it did not stop me to hope that i will find my new beginning.


i have so much to be thankful in my life right now, for family, for bab, for my friends and for them who never stopped believing and praying for me.

an entry in my journal for the past month goes like this," Lord, i bring to you my burdens and you know my situation. you know i can never make it without you. comfort my heart, give me strength and help me to carry on."


whenever i feel down, i pray. and then everything goes well. indeed, talking to God always allays our worries.



and the start of this month is a new beginning for me. i am thankful for the things that were and i continue to be hopeful and thankful for the things that will be.

no more worries, just hoping, praying and believing