august 30,2007


three doors down-let me go

One more kiss could be the best thing
But one more lie could be the worst
And all these thoughts are never resting
And you're not something I deserve

In my head there's only you now
This world falls on me
In this world there's real and make believe
And this seems real to me

[Chorus]
You love me but you don't know who I am
I'm torn between this life I lead and where I stand
And you love me but you don't know who I am
So let me go
Let me go

I dream ahead to what I hope for
And I turn my back on loving you
How can this love be a good thing
When I know what I'm goin through

In my head there's only you now
This world falls on me
In this world there's real and make believe
And this seems real to me


You love me but you don't know who I am
I'm torn between this life I lead and where I stand
You love me but you don't know who I am
So let me go
Just Let me goo...
Let me go

And no matter how hard I try
I can't escape these things inside I know
I knowww..
When all the pieces fall apart
You will be the only one who knows
Who knows

You love me but you don't know who I am
I'm torn between this life I lead and where I stand
And you love me but you don't know Who I am
So let me go
Just let me go

And you love me but you don't
You love me but you don't
You love me but you don't know who I am
And you love me but you don't
You love me but you don't
You love me but you don't know me



--ive always been the person who was left with nothing..most of the time i ended up with friends,laughing over that stupid mistake i did again, but sometimes, i curl up in bed and contemplate on how things have turned out badly,and how hurt i was..

i just hate it when evryones not being fair..you do evertyhing and you do not get even a bit of kindness in return..its like a piece of your good heart has been taken away..

i know theres still so much to live for..im so tired of living for everyones sake..im a weakling and i can be really passive when it comes to some things..im tired..im exhausted..tonight,my heart dies..


ill still be praying for you,ill still hope for the best for you,even if you are not doing the same thing to me..even if all you did was hurt me in the most simple way you know..even if it meant and accepting to myself and to all THAT I LOST>>you win..will that make you happy?i hope so,because i give up..ill never win against you..

tonight, my heart dies..and tomorrow, GOD KNOWS, tomorrow will be another day,and the clock will heal all of my heartaches..

tomorrow, GOD will make me meet him,

--that person who will :

ask me where i am

bug me at night

miss me

want my hugs

that its okay to cry over that exam

go with me to attend novenas at stjude

come with me to visit all those beautiful churches in the world

tell me that im not fat

that he loves me even if i was the clumsiest person alive

love my friends and my family

watch every korean film

enjoy my non sense and corny stories

tell me that il make the best lawyer in the world


you see..my heart dies tonight..

but i know,and ill keep praying,

ill eventually meet him..

(thats when youll see me really happy..i wont hear you from now on, i wont be affected with all those things i heard about you, about all those lies you made to me,about all those things you said and did to me..)

goodbye to everything that made me so miserable..

august 29,2007


woohoo..tapos na insurance,crim2 na naman..ngawaan nto!!argg


so this must be how life is,walang lablyp,bad scores and accident prone days..ahaha..yaan ang fun life..bat kaya nung i quit beer(1 lang,lasing nako),nagquit naren ang funfun skin..siguro bawal nga tlga maging gudgirl tlga..

hays 1year na ung mga kalokahan sa bar ops!!woohoo..sa mga makakaalala nun,tawanan nlng nten..haha..ang puyat,ang room service,ang saya..haha


1year na pla ung stalking craze ko,ung pagiging gurl tanga ko..haha


at malamang forevr na tlga kong gurl tanga!!yahoo...un un e..haha


gurl tanga and her search for boy mas tanga..

afraid to need

august 27,2007

if i continue to be so serious n self righteous... nobody, absolutely NOBODY will be able to live up to my expectations... not even myself...

n i'll end up disappointed w e world for not being as perfect as i want it to be...

tt's totally ridiculous... absurd, unreasonable, unacceptable n unheard of... bullshit... all those crap

i'll continue to be unhappy n unproductive if i held such ideals... let them all go... just live my life n let others live theirs....

u do ur best, u excel, u fall... happy n sad... things tt goes ard comes ard...

for me... i seem to be e same... am i?!
i was once e most responsible person i've ever known... now it's exactly e opposite...
i was once e most cheerful n heck care person ... now im e one most depressed n troubled over who knows what?!
i was once e "clever" one... well, at least best in results... now im just an ok student... barely hanging on...
i was once e "creator"... now i dunt really write...
i was once e "talented"... now i dunt even play...
i was once e dreamer n optimists... now im grounded.... n do i still dare to dream?!
i thot life has everything installed for me, I believed.... now... i doubt... e world, my future... n something less abstract... i doubt even myself...
its a very very bad feeling... not believing in anything... feeling so lost n so "floaty"... n not knowing what is worth living for...
i wonder whether its only me... or does it happen to everybody?! who dares admit it? who dares expose such vulnerability...?!